Thursday, July 01, 2010

New Rules For Hunting Attorneys

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While hunting has become a popular sport in many countries,
laws have to be developed to both keep the populations in balance
as well as to allow for a fair fight. New Rules and Regulations also
have to be legislated whenever new species become the object
of the hunt. With this is mind comes new regulations.

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NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS
US Government Department of Fish and "WildLife"
Sec. 1200

1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash","ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.

7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it.

9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp,female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim,bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose ofhunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS
(Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)

1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 1
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 4
4. Small-breasted Ball Buster 3
(Female only)
5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
6. Honest Attorney On the Endangered Species List
(Illegal to hunt)
7. Cut-throat 2
8. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
10. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 BOUNTY

2 comments:

Bonum, Verum, Pulchrum said...

Brilliant post Sir Knight! Having recently gone through an experience where I was defrauded of $5000 by a lawyer I echo your sentiments!

madyjojjef said...

That is cool post hope its help us, but lawyer will be die. thanks keep it up.